So utterly beyond imagination

Talk about being SMALL as I actually am and have always been – be it in pangkat/social stature, or physical stature (all 5 feet, 2 inches of me) or even the size of my pockets – these weeks after the general elections with the change of government and the discovery of what the previous government had been up to… the descriptive word is not small but BIGGGG! HUMONGOUS in fact! The BIGGEST swindle is the 1MDB with debts of RM 42 billion; the payment of interest for 1MDB borrowings alone amounts to RM143.75 million which is due to be paid by 1MDB on this May 30 (and yes to be footed by our new government with the people’s money!).

And this is just 1MDB. I suspect other shocks of the financial kind may yet surface.., etc., etc… Being an English Language & Literature major followed by training in Education at university and the rather small pockets in my trousers, I have no preparation in all my life for these dimension of statistics I am almost daily reading about pertaining to how my country had hitherto been governed money-wise (unwise, I should say!). Each month – as and when my expenditure nears RM625 (which reminds me of my monthly salary in my first full-time Christian work), my small trousers would be about to hoist its RED WARNING SIGNS!

THUS to be so rudely confronted by millions and billions of ringgit been spent dengan begitu sahaja/SO NONCHALANTLY quite honestly is SO UTTERLY BEYOND my imagination; nothing has hitherto prepared me for this size of expenditure. Small though I have always been, I did not know until now – after the general elections which spilled the beans at us citizens – how really small I actually am… And even my LOUDEST SCREAMS and my most RIGHTEOUS ANGER and my heart-breaking SORROW would not match the SIN which the previous GOVERNMENT had committed against US the PEOPLE… And this is just in monetary terms.

(NB. In rereading what I have just written here, my small heart is breaking ever which way. As national director of World Vision East Timor ages back, for the smallest of smallest fraction of the wastage we are daily confronted with here, so much permanent good could have been done for the poorest in the community who did not have running water nor sufficient food crops nor better homes… nor education… for the poor in Timor Leste, not to mention the poor here at home. Tears are not eloquent enough to get the right thing done…)

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